So today is Christmas Day and I'm not feeling very festive as I begin to write this. My family is spending Christmas till New Year's in Florida, except for my Dad who is in New York. Today is also my father's birthday and he didn't go to Florida because he doesn't travel. My room mate got me a couple presents for Christmas and I didn't get him anything. I feel really bad about it... actually I feel like sh*t. I'll make it up to him I guess. The issue on my mind however is far from the festivus of the holidays, it's the premise of attraction.
This morning I learned something that greatly disturbed me. I pretty much figured it out once a vital clue was dropped and that catalyst made all the pieces fall into place. I have a close friend at work, Danae, who is very much a confidant for me and she confides in me as well. She's been telling me about these two guys she's been seeing; 1: "Clingy", a very attached young guy who she is primarily sexually attracted to and not much else. It's no strings attached or friend with benefits type arrangement. However the guy has feelings for her and she has none for him. 2:"Situation", an unmarried guy who lives with his on-again, off-again girlfriend and mother of his kids. She has grown attached to him and cares for him but his uncaring attitude plus his verbal abuse makes him unsuitable to be in an actual relationship. Also mostly a friends with benefits arrangement. Plus his "situation" with his (ex)girlfriend is rather unsavory, hence his nickname. Danae is also a single mom, which makes her daughter another factor.
Now that we're all caught up to speed... Danae tried to cut herself off from "Clingy" and "Situation" but they both still pester her. "Situation" especially because she does have feelings for him but all he wants from her is sex and she knows this. He holds her emotions hostage by saying he cares and being charming but reverts back to being a jerk when he doesn't get his way. Now the thing that shocked me in my self discovery of "Situation's" identity was when Danae told me she saw him at work during shift change. "Wait, he's here?" I thought to myself and I immediately pieced together who it was. The cocky attitude, the baby mama drama, the macho-sexual self confidence that makes you want to puke... "Situation" is the BIGGEST DOUCHE BAG at the office. I always referred to him as "Drama", which is also a tattoo he has on his neck, classy right?
So here's my thoughts: Why is it that women are so attracted to these bad boy types? Men who are so totally wrong for them or just completely emotionally devoid to women that nice guys don't stand a chance because they are so emotionally damaged after being with these jerks. The world is full of broken women that wouldn't know true love if it bit them in the rear. It's not their fault though, the world glorifies the sexual prowess of a man. Look at "Jersey Shore" or any movie in the past 20 years that puts the "player" on a pedestal. A woman who commits the same crime is seen as a "slut" or "loose", even though she's simply acting how a typical man is believed to act. It comes down to fantasy and instant gratification. Movies are fantasy while television is instant gratification. Television shows you the Jersey Shore and every one wants to emulate a bunch of morons. Movies like "The Notebook", "Titanic" or "Pretty Woman" show you fantasy. The fantasy of what attraction is supposed to be, but as they say, that only happens in the movies.
I think I finally found a purpose for this blog, to explore the laws of attractions and why things happen between nice guys, good girls and bad boys.... Let the adventure begin.
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