So, I took a day off from blogging yesterday... I usually don't do much on Sundays, save for some exercise and a little cleanup of the house. I like to entertain the idea that I actually rest on the Sabbath but I haven't been to church in almost a year. Any way, starting to regret having a room mate as of lately. I came home from work this morning, saw his truck out front and immediately thought "Oh, great... this f^cker is home." My room mate moved in back in mid-April and at first was kinda cool. Now I find myself cleaning up after him and turning off lights and fans that he leaves on. I feel like I live with a 32yo kid that pays rent. Any how, he does pay 40% of the rent and due to my current financial standing really can't go back to handling 100% of the rent by myself. Well not really "can't", more like "don't want to".
By now you might be asking, "Okay, no where in your blog do you explain, how you're a Tragic Nice Guy, what are you blabbing about?" Well, something like that can't be done in a single post and I don't want to lose material too early. I chose the title Tragic Nice Guy because I have no other way to describe myself. I go out of my way for others, not expecting much in return and only accepting the fact I made someone else's day a little better as my reward. Yeah I expect few *cough*bull-sh!t* out there but, it's the truth. I've always been very altruistic, I was a Boy Scout for goodness' sake. Guys like that tend to only exist in movies, the guy who gets stepped on, bullied, completely outcast from the mainstream. The typecast "Duckie" from Pretty in Pink, or perhaps more modern Kirk from She's Out of My League, you know... sweet, a bit dorky and not a mean bone in his body. Yeah, me... to a T. The "T" should stand for "tragic". However in the movies the nice guy gets back at the bullies and ultimately gets the girl. Well, my life is not a movie. I live alone, save for my roommate, have few friends and currently not in a romantic relationship. Strangely enough, I'm happy. I kinda like that if I need to just pick up and leave... I can.
Recently been playing with the thought of taking a private security contract in either Iraq or Afghanistan. The money would be phenomenal, $80k-$100k, it would definitely help me get back on my feet and I would be doing something that pretty much come to me second nature. My job assignment in Iraq back in '04-'05 was that of armored-truck gunner as well as squad designated marksman. I took some licks but came back in one piece, however the idea of going back privately has been a fleeting idea for about 3 1/2 years now. I would love to go but recently someone said to me; "Money can't bring you the happiness that another person can." And I'm back to square one. One of my personal colloquialisms is; What the mind wants and the heart yearns for, are two completely different things. This couldn't be more descriptive of my situation because between what my mind wants and my heart begs for is a faint beam of hope. *smile
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