The saying goes: "It is better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all." Heartbreak is a hell of a thing, especially when you are the cause of your own broken heart. All men go through it and most of the time, we blame ourselves. I remember talking with a co-worker last night about my last love and saying the words "but I messed it up." I did mess it up. I didn't love myself enough to extend that upon another person. I wasn't living my life to the fullest and I surely was not happy. So in my own misery, I lost the one thing that meant more to me than anything I could imagine. I'm not sure if I'll ever get it back but I try to convince myself that if I live my life differently, perhaps I will.
I live by myself with my mini-dachshund, Frida, as my only company. I'm actually happy being by myself. No roommates to bother me, no strange people coming and going. I live by my own schedule and under my own terms. Going to church the past couple weeks have helped. I've hardly been a good, practicing Catholic but having faith in my life keeps me going these days. It helps, I guess...
Nonetheless, I'm lonely but still hopeful that the loneliness won't last for too long. The Rule of Three states that you CANNOT survive: 3 seconds without Spirit and Hope, 3 minutes without air, 3 Hours without shelter in extreme conditions, 3 days without water, 3 weeks without food, 3 months without Companionship or Love. The last time I lived alone, I went almost 5 months before I started posting ads for a roommate. However, I'm not in a position to sublet to anyone at my current residence. So it's just me and my puppy. I take care of her and in turn I guess she takes care of me. Heartbreak is a lesson in love and sometimes all you can do is learn from it because it may not offer a solution to what broke your heart. Sometimes the lesson is just knowledge and experience to be retained later for the future.
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