Love & Other Drugs

I'm love sick. I don't want to be but I am. The reason for this is because I've fallen for someone that doesn't love me back. Not that they don't want to but because that emotion just hasn't hit them yet. Also the revelation that I was compared to a puppy, fun to be around and lovable but a responsibility not wanted, kinda pierced my heart. I don't know what to think anymore. It feels like I'm right where I started five months ago, with my emotions at the whim of another person. But at least this time I know if the unthinkable happens, as much as I pray and wish it doesn't, my heart will heal.
Wednesday was a very sad day. Steve Jobs, the CEO of Apple Inc., passed away from his fight with cancer. I don't currently own any Apple products but Hope practically has every Apple product there is; an iPhone 4, an iPod, an iPad and a MacBook Pro. Imagine her devastation when she heard the news. I'm glad I went to see her at her school, even if it was for a little while. Any time I spend with her makes me feel closer to her. I feel we're in the "bonding process", where the important thing for us is to build a bond that makes us more a couple rather than two separate people. I want to be with her, I really do.
With all the tributes to Steve Jobs' passing, the most prominent for me was the video of his commencement speech at Standford University back in 2005. There were many poignant things he said but what really hit home for me was this: "Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life." So for now I'll simply trust that the dots will connect in my future, perhaps with a little faith... and a little hope.

Strange, New Frontiers

Yeah, so... it's been a while. I was actually thinking to myself earlier that I needed to do some writing. There's a lot of things on my mind that require expressing. It's been nearly three weeks since my last post and there's been a significant amount of change in my life. It appears that Hope and I have begun a budding relationship. It's exhilarating yet scary all at the same time. Even though I seem to be charming her and "winning points" in her heart, I'm very rusty at being in a relationship. I seem to making small, dumb guy mistakes. I guess it's expected, I am a guy. We had a serious heart to heart talk five days ago and it was something we both needed. Even though we seem to be cautious and methodical about everything, things seem to be developing so fast. From just friends, to "special friends", to seeing each other, to dating... It's just so, intense.
On top of all of that, I am a year older now. I turned 29 over a week ago and even though I don't feel older, it doesn't help that I am closer to 30... currently unmarried... still without children. Hopefully you can relate. Beyond that, I feel pretty content in life right now. I have some one that I care about that has the potential to lead into a rather fruitful future and I really don't have much complaints about anything else. There is something that is bothering me but it's something I have to endure without writing about it. Work seems to be getting to me lately, especially Monday nights which is my Friday before my "weekend". I seem to always get stuck working with this one guy who is completely useless. It drives me nuts and stresses me out because I have my set routine at work and he completely jacks it up. Sleep and Hope are the only things that keep me going. I intended to write more but I seem to be having writer's block. Tomorrow is another day I guess.